Have you met us? From 8 PM on, every television show we watch begins with an internal tracking shot of a gaping wound above someone’s left eye, pulling out only to reveal half a hooker in a dumpster, discovered by a child on a bicycle. You know what we call that? Primetime. You know what, let us help with the autopsy. Show us the picture, we won’t be disgusted. You’re more likely to hear from us, “Oh, you can tell from the subcutaneous hemorraging that the shot was fired from a close proximity. Although, the exit wound suggests a modified AR-15 assault rifle. I learned that on Bones.”

- Jon Stewart responding to the media saying that the photos of Bin Laden’s body are too gory for the American people to see